Todd Said:

which computer science subject should i choose?

We Answered:

i too studied comp. eng & applied math and it really all depends on what you want to do w/your career. not being familiar with mechatronics I would suggest the best bets are web app dev. these types of jobs are always in demand. database is very useful. if not as a dev of databases then for sure as a user.

Earl Said:

family attacks me???

We Answered:

If you're 19 years old, you can get together with some other guys and share an apt. If you all get jobs, then all the bills will be shared and it's something you can do, financially.

It sounds like you need to have medication for your depression, also. Or, if you're on meds then they need to be adjusted. A lot of your anger is understandably coming from the way you're treated now. So, getting away from that would help a lot. If you can't move out, then spend more time at the library or doing sports so you don't interact with your family so much. Good luck!! : /

Stephen Said:

agressive family? keeping me down?

We Answered:

I share the same situation. I come from an aggressive family of seven, as well. I am the second-oldest of five children, and the only male child. My situation sucks (blended family), and since I am the only unselfish one, I am always the most miserable. Therefore, I behave VERY passive-aggressively, often feel the urge to break things, and make witty, piquant verbal insults (although I never do, because I would be in the most trouble).

However, my family is not aggressive in the same way your family is. Most of the aggression in my family is verbal, and I often fail to stand up for myself and get pushed aside. We never do anything I would like to do (because I never say anything), I always get the most uncomfortable/removed seat in the car and at restaurants, and I am always the one who sleeps on the floor with just a blanket in the hotel when we travel. My thoughts are always suppressed by the threat of violence/psychological torture (although I'm a pretty strong free-thinker, so the psychological torture doesn't bug me as much) from my father. I am forced to attend church with the mother f***ing hypocrites every Sunday, even though I do not believe in any of the bullshit that is preached there (my family doesn't even practice from and follow the Bible they wave around so arrogantly and unctuously). If I dare debate religion/god/morals influenced by religious views, then my father gives me one of those "I'm going to beat your *** and ground you if you say another word" looks. It's horrible, and it's making me mentally ill. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one morning and decided to end my life right there. I am becoming very passive-aggressive, and I am starting to get more and more sarcastic and snide. My dad has told me lately that I'm starting to have an attitude problem, that he resents the fact that I don't play sports (he's pretty profound about this), and that I'm a quitter. Well, I very well may quit [at life].

The best thing you can do is ignore and repress it (although you should be EXTREMELY CAREFUL about repressing your thoughts, as that is the biggest mistake I've made in my life, and now I'm very bitter and cynical because of it. Try to talk to someone who wouldn't mind hearing and maybe even discussing your repressed thoughts). If you have access to a therapist and/or a psychiatrist, I suggest you take advantage of your opportunity. Also, do your best in school. An education is your only way out. I've worked very hard and succeeded greatly in school, and I'm hoping to go to one of the Ivy League schools (which are all FAR, FAR AWAY from my home, thank goodness). Without my stellar ACT score, rigorous Honors and AP classes, and GPA, however, this would not be possible. So education is major, always remember that. Another very important thing to do is read. Try to read as much as you can about everything you can. This will broaden your horizons and make you realize that there is so much else out there. It never failed me.

Also, just remember that you will beat it. I know that I will emerge from the shithole I'm in, go to a good college, and make a difference in the world, and you need to know that you'll do that, too.

Stay strong, and good luck.