Christopher Said:

What is involved in persuing a career in adoption services in the state of New York?

We Answered:

Both your question and your additional comments talk about how adoption is "a joy" for the adoptive parents and that you want to offer "support" to the natural parents and you offer the obligatory "I want to help those on BOTH sides of the adoption" (emphasis added by me).

Perhaps you are familiar with the concept of the adoption TRIad? "TRI" means 3, not 2 -- so there are THREE sides to adoption, not the "both" you mentioned. The side conspicuously absent from all of your writings (in this question) is the ADOPTED person -- the one you call "baby". I am an adopted person. I am NOT a 'baby'. I have been an adult longer now than I was a child. You seem to have utterly disregarded what being adopted means to the person who is, in fact, adopted.

Until you have a firm grasp on that, you have no business in the BUSINESS of adoption. One relative who has adopted and one friend who has relinquished gives you nothing even resembling "experience" with adoption. I have lived adoption every day of my life. I wouldn't touch it (by choice) for anything.

And, just for your information, I am a social worker. A social worker AGAINST adoption. Adoption is ugly. Adoption hurts -- the very BEST adoption (if there can be such a thing) still costs a child his or her family. It costs us our culture, heritage, sometimes a language, our medical history, knowledge of our roots...in short, my adoption cost me my identity. ALL of it. That price is way, way too high.

I am fortunate in that I have begun to reclaim some parts of myself. I have reunited with my natural families. I have learned what my race is -- which I was denied knowing due to adoption. I have re-established relationships with my natural parents. I have met my siblings (all born after my adoption) and we are growing together in wonderful relationships. What I have lost, though, can never be regained. I will never grow up with them, as I should have. I will never do the things that most siblings take for granted (even fighting) while they are children together under one roof. I will never know my grandparents and one of my aunts and two cousins -- all of whom died while I was living this lie called adoption.

If you want to help people and bring joy to lives, find a way to do it that won't so completely destroy someone else in the process. You can certainly do better if you choose to.

By the way, I find it rather curious that you use the term "my aunt's adoptive daughter". Is she not, in fact, your cousin? See my point? It's not the same. And it is/will be far less "the same" for your cousin... Or should I say "your aunt's adoptive daughter"?